F*** how do I keep being able to pay my rent?
Struggling with chronic fatigue, depressions. How did rejections and not being taken seriously by doctors has turned out to be the greatest gift?
Getting answers what causes symptoms is half the struggle vanishing. Have you had your personal struggles in life? Did it burden you when you did not get answers why stuff kept happening? Have you ever felt guilty because you where not able to keep up the pace of life as was expected from you? Have you covered your feelings when you felt ashamed not being able to keep order in your household as your friends and family did? Did it hurt your self worth when doctors did not take you seriously? Well, I can ask you a lot of questions more. Most of them I have been there, done that. And I can assure you, I understand your pain and I would love nothing more to assist you in helping you deal with your pains.
25 years ago I could not have imagined that the shocks and trauma in my life where not over yet. After my stepdad died in 1992 I was confronted how a mourning process of a 17 year was so out of the field of interests of my classmates. As if the many years of being bullied was not enough. I felt so alone with all of my processes. That was the start of an unrolling story of dealing with karma and life lessons. Many shocking experiences more to occur. Thank God I encountered interesting teachers upon my life path. One of them is Joseph Holzer, an American living in the Netherlands with a Nuclear Engineer degree. I attend his Spiritual Arts Academy education since 2008. The other teacher who I follow online and finally gives answers to so many of my physical injuries and complaints is Medical Medium Anthony William. I hope that through the years ahead of us, I can share much of my wisdom and knowledge to relieve your pain, struggle and ignorance. I am here to teach you about how to gain a healthy physical, emotional, mental and spiritual life. This is a holistic approach. I am at your service.
I came into this life with a deep desire for joy, contact with nature. I can enjoy light falling upon leaves in the midst of busy environments. I don’t care if it is while I am walking on my job, while driving the car. Enjoying is something can be done in a split second and then relaxes my breathe and mind. Can you do this? Enjoy your environment while working? Or is your mind cluttered with worries? Is it hard for you to recognize that even seconds of mindful attention to your surrounding can bring shifts in yourself?
Life burdened me with a lot of life lessons tied to death, poverty, chronic fatigue and a highly spiritual awareness. Because if you think being psychic is a pleasure, being able to see angels and demons, reading health of the physical and subtle bodies is always a gift, I can tell you that it is not. Of course, often it gives me also pleasure and joy. Life gave me tools to investigate these realms and I have recognised past life influences, and belief me, this is the least fun part of it all. I have recognised the influence of heavy metals and pesticides, herbicides, insecticides, fungicides on viruses inside the body which create problems such as adrenal and nervous system fatigue.
Do you now how hard it is to have a regular income when you wake up every morning even more fatigued then when you went to bed? Not to be able to deal with too many inputs/impulses which causes you to work in a job way below your capacity, just because you know you are not able to work the required 45 hours a week. My first step was to integrate spiritual tools which kept out 90% of energetic input, the 110 % remaining where karmic so with that I had to deal with. Do you know how hard it is when deep emotional trauma prevents you to have a healthy social life which drives you into the arms of addictions? Do you know how hard it is to be over-sensitive to certain sounds? Of course you do. Because you have a loved one in your life who is struggling with it or you might be dealing with some of it.
Love Hate Relation with life. Oh, some call this Bi Polar.
It was my dad and stepmom who told me many years ago that they thought it was about time I took an example on the life of my brother and sister in law. It felt like I was hit in the face, I lived my life and faced my life lessons on the way I felt suited and able, not the way my parents expected me to… 2 Whiplashes and a burn out which where never treated properly made it for me impossible to pursuit a healthy career, with that I had loss of income and made housing choices which where not always logic, but gave me lots of lessons in housing and gave me experience to read housing health.
Sometimes I worked 6 months followed by 3 to 6 months rest period. Not because I am lazy, no, but to give myself the regeneration I needed to be able to keep behave socially acceptable, to be able to live with myself and refilled with energy. In my lows I was nasty to others, could not be so friendly and got angry quick. Have you ever experienced this? That you got angry quick and later you realized it was because your blood sugar level was dropping, you had too much on your plate or simply because you dd not recognize you are doing something which you as a total being does not support. Do you even know that if you sweat is smelly, that it is your body letting you know that your bloodsugar is out of balance?
I made some choices in life in order to survive. I am sure you have did the same, making choices as you see fit for your life. Along the way I have gained much knowledge how to finally heal adrenal and nervous fatigue. I have processed past life karmic lessons which explains me why I had that severe post natal depression, and why all these demons showed up and why all of these miscarriages occurred. I had to face tremendous shock and trauma and under the guidance of my mystical Angels of the High Magic, the Lords of Karma, the Law of Justice brought and still brings balance in all aspects in my life. Whatever is going on in your life, it all has a purpose. We have free will and are able to choose how to react upon situations. If you choose to open yourself up and to face the influences in your past lives, you might be able to turn the tide. Spirituality is not something for meditation lovers only, or just to raise your frequency to a high level so you feel on a natural high. Though you might it like the best and cheapest drugs ever, there it only costs you being mindful and time, which is already yours. (yes, I am joking) Spiritual awareness brings you upon levels of awareness no doctor can bring you to. These levels are required for you own inner spiritual growth and evolution, to become whole again.
Love turned my life around
It was the summer of 2001. I worked in Switzerland’s most exclusive restaurant “le Club” located on a place which is for me heaven on earth. I found myself for ethics reason standing in Human Resource bureau, quitting my job. With this quitting my career in hospitality service. At that moment per “coincidence” the F&B manager happened to be there and he refused me to let me go. So he gave me a job upon the mountain restaurant. It was in that period a love unfolded in my which is not measured with love you feel for a human. It was a divine love, fed by the mountains and surrounding nature. When the season ended and the resort was closing I made a promise the the mountain Pilatus that one day I would return. And 16 years later I have. The resort has been rebuilt in the way I foresaw in 2003. Restoring trust in what I foresee in life. When my life partner and I met 5 years ago, we went during our 1 holiday together for a drive. Once we paused in Stans he looked at me, being the witness of how I had changed within minutes entering that area. How I totally relaxed and changed my whole radiance. He made one remark, a promise he kept. “We are going to move here aren’t we? This is your Home…”
I will not lie to you. I made life a living hell for him while he pushed the red buttons of my inner wounds.
We moved a few times, we suffered and grew from the experiences of 3 miscarriages. We dreamed about paths of lives with our own child and saw them shattered again, we always found a path we’d walk together harmonious, and always with our focus on a higher path of Destiny with our home base in Switzerland. His Love turned my life and made me willing to grow up emotional. Something of which I often now laugh when people call it ‘being grounded’. In the Netherlands we have this expression “zweverig” which translates to “floating”. Can you tell me what the English expression is? This state of being non grounded, of which I think it is often more tied to emotional immaturity. In other cases it might also be tight to an inflamed nervous system which can be healed with the right nutrients and food. My partner and I read often our future, when we read the same we dig deeper into it and it is fun to see stuff being fulfilled and when other stuff never occurs we dive into it to see if we had misinformation or if it served another purpose. We try to separate facts from fictions and fantasy, separate facts from beliefs and still being able to read our future. Together we are able to create our shared life, with my main goal to serve mankind and with his main goal to earn good money with it to manifest the house of our dreams, with sight on Lake Lucerne, healthy air and a few V6’s and V8’s in our garage, surrounded with bio demeater farms.
The gift of a highly spiritual aware son
My son lived with us for a while before moving to his fathers house. My son gives me with his tremendous soul wisdom time to grow and evolve before he will return our home again and I am grateful for that. I met the soul of my son 3 years before he was born. Not being able to find a partner I told him that he was free to go search other parents. Do yo know what he said to me? “Oh no mom, it is no problem, because I already know my father!” Since the pregnancy he once in a while contacts me from out the future. Giving me some key information about his and our lives. With him a lot of life lessons came. I remember having him as a 3 year old on my bike, in the back seat. Cycling every day to work where I dropped him off in kindergarten. I learned to differentiate fears I read in accident fear pictures, if they where originally mine, his or from a passing cardriver. I learned along the months to differentiate if they where residing in my own aura, chakra’s or in one of the subtle bodies, or in my Son’s aura, chakra’s or subtle bodies.
Now years later I have a 80 minutes drive to work. I can read if some one is coming along the corner before I can perceive visual or hear them. I can read in those who are driving in front of me if they will be only a short time before they turn. It is fun to learn the vibration mark of certain villages. Each village has their own vibration and residences carry these frequencies. So once they are in front of me, I am able to recognise where they will take the turn. It makes it easier for me to decide to overtake them or keep driving behind them. Especially in these mountain roads it is for me save to know when another car is heading to me. Allow me to ask you a few questions leading to a realization of your responsibility.
I work currently part time in hospitality service in one of the worlds extraordinary resorts in Switzerland. It is by conscious choice and I am thrilled to be part of this one in a lifetime opportunity to partake in the fase of the re opening the legendary Burgenstock resort.
There is just this one aspect I still have issues with. Perhaps you recognize some in it. That are the work hours combined with the work-life traffic. I am the only one of our crew who goes home earlier because of the journey ahead of me. Sometimes I feel disappointed in myself because it feels letting my crew down, letting them work very late while I arrive home to sleep. I never told them why, I do not like to manipulate emotionally others to have stuff done the way I please. I have chefs who lets me go without knowing the promise I made to myself and the world many many years ago.
I am tired, can I go home please?
Recently I have realized my story is not emotional manipulation but making others aware of their responsibility, so bare with me this story. Do you have siblings? If no, do your friends have siblings?
Do your siblings have children? Do you fancy witnessing your nieces and cousins growing up?
Can you remember you being 21? Where did you live? What school did you attend? What job did you had? I lived in my hometown with my boyfriend in an apartment, I was attending the Hotelschool, worked in a fancy restaurant in the Netherlands. I was getting my life on track and was looking forward to pursuing a career. Then on one Saturday afternoon my mom called. Telling me that my sister had died with her boyfriend in a truck accident. They died because another truck driver had already driven 22 hours. He was looking forward to see his 4 year old daughter and decided to drive those 4 hours more until he was home. He fell asleep for a second and that was all it took to crush the truck of my sisters boyfriend. The date they both would start a their new career, they where buried together.
This is why I despise to drive when I am tired. I have not only responsibility over my own life, but I will never want to be in the place that truckdriver once was, facing the families of those he drove into death.
If this means I have to argue with chefs or leave colleagues hanging dry, it is by conscious choice. For a reason. If this means in the future I have to send employees earlier home then the work is done, so be it.
Shadow lives, what could happen if one makes another choice
My brother and I looked recently into the shadow life where my sister did listen to my warning not to go away that weekend. She was happily married, had 4 kids. It was if they where strolling in in the living room where we did our reading. I lived a whole different life and pursuit my career successfully, spirituality was not one of my greatest interests. The family bond was warm and healthy. My brother and I had a good bond, even though we did not see each other that much. But truth is, that reality is shattered, our current reality is totally different. Both my brother and I are highly spiritual gifted. But our differences in character and morals makes it almost unbearable to walk a shared path of life. I never see my brother in my future. When I married my now ex husband it irritated me why I never saw my ex husband in my future. Now I understand why. Do you have similar experiences? Do you have memories of your future which are not in lign with your present day? You can either neglect it, or you can use it to co create your life. What do you prefer? Do you need assistance in overcoming obstacles in creating your life?
I am at your service. Please make an free 15 minutes reading appointment via the app. Sometimes all you need is 15 minutes talk with a stranger to help you determine the course of life.
Allow me to read you on a holistic base, allow me to read your physical health and other areas in your life. It will be up to your spirit, your higher self to show me the information you need and might not be able to translate yourself. Do your first want to read more about my business before you dare to schedule with me? check out Shyna or Holistic Hellen.com
Ik spreek Nederlands
Ich spreche Deutsch
I versta Mundart
I speak English